I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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