he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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