I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
