new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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