Who wears a wallet chain?!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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