I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
