Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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