come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
