Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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