Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
