I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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