I am in a vortex of obligation.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
