Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
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well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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