Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Farmville is her only friend.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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