You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
