i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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