i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
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