Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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