Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
FUCK WHALES
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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