No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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you will always have a special place in my vag
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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