Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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