I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you will always have a special place in my vag
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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