yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
