I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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