he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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