wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
