she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
