i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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