You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
