okay pat passed out under dana's car
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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