There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
