I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him