you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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