Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships

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  (201): it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships http://tfl.nu/cs10
  Replies (28) Good night (831) Bad night (4211)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (924) Bad night (6591)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.

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  (630): Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me. http://tfl.nu/4ss8
  Replies (18) Good night (7161) Bad night (1926)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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  (801): He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay... http://tfl.nu/tir1
  Replies (20) Good night (1401) Bad night (4672)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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  (862): just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work http://tfl.nu/zbvu
  Replies (3) Good night (2413) Bad night (1019)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.

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  (419): More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill. http://tfl.nu/mtxw
  Replies (6) Good night (3323) Bad night (965)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

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  (613): Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover http://tfl.nu/cy4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3255) Bad night (1558)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

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  (903): How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?! http://tfl.nu/tpho
  Replies (19) Good night (1179) Bad night (2384)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.

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  (630): So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead. (319): You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you. http://tfl.nu/03d8
  Replies (15) Good night (2339) Bad night (1171)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.

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  (765): Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears. http://tfl.nu/6dpq
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (1045)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma

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  (512): I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma http://tfl.nu/4ovd
  Replies (12) Good night (1048) Bad night (1659)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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  (901): I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/oaek
  Replies (6) Good night (1399) Bad night (500)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

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  (514): so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view. http://tfl.nu/r0p2
  Replies (2) Good night (1595) Bad night (489)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  As weird as it sounds I would totally be down

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  (847): Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks. (630): As weird as it sounds I would totally be down http://tfl.nu/3ahb
  Replies (8) Good night (1185) Bad night (619)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

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  (802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (300)

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