The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason