I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
