my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
its not stalking. its research.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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