I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
