I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
we're so committed to being not committed
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
