please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize