He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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