K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
