I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
it glows. i had to have it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
