i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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