then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
