You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We had to coat check the pizza.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
