hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
