Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
pray to the hookup gods
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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