Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
