margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
