i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
