is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
