I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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