This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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