I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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