you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
