He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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