I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
