I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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