there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
