in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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