Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
