I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
