don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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