Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You have to summon your inner elephant
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
