You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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