he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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