Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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