kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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