I only kidnapped one of them. chill
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
