So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
